The employment history you’re not supposed to talk about

In the depths of my 2012 unemployment, I made a mathematical prediction that I would not find employment with a company for another 27.7 weeks. I just decided to fact check it!

7 weeks after that statement, I took on work as an independent contractor analyzing search results from the end-user’s experience according to a rigorous set of parameters. The work was very interesting, but sparse and stressful with it’s time restrictions. It sometimes involved me watching countless editions of “Gagangnam Style,” and “The Harlem Shake,” while fighting with my room mates for bandwidth. I continued searching for a better job. Eventually, I cracked and applied somewhere I absolutely knew would hire me. (Jesus called me for an interview less than 24 hours after I submitted my resume.)

I began my first day of work for a brick and mortar company (which operated under an aegis or two) after ~20 weeks. I promptly exited that company 6 weeks later due to personal reasons. Two weeks after that, two incredibly fitting, (but low paying jobs) practically fell into my lap less than 24 hours apart and I had to sit down with a spread sheet and cost out the potential educational and earning benefits between the two jobs at the 28 week mark.

My employment prediction would not be inaccurate, if I adjusted it to say, that I would find a job that I was somewhat satisfied with in roughly 27.7 weeks, rather than that I would just find a company that would hire me.

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